Sunday, 15 May 2011

The Dominant Wife and submissive husband

A primary reinforcer is any reward your husband will work to get, and which will increase or maintain a behavior. Of all the rewards that you could offer your husband, sex is far and away the most powerful. Sex, therefore, serves as the core, primary reinforcer. Simply put, under the right circumstances, your husband will do virtually anything to have sex with you. A secondary reinforcer, or a conditioned reinforcer, is any previously neutral stimulus that acquires reinforcing properties through an association with a primary reinforcer over a period of time. Lingerie a secondary reinforcer, albeit one that he has almost certainly already associated with sex. As a practical matter, you cannot use sex to reward your husband for every good deed. Secondary reinforcers are therefore critical to an effective training program.

There are two types of behavioral conditioning: respondent conditioning and operant conditioning. In respondent conditioning, a neutral stimulus, such as words of praise, is paired with a primary reinforcer, such as sex. Through a repetition of the pairing, the neutral stimulus takes on the ability to elicit the response, it becomes a secondary reinforcer. Note that a secondary reinforcer may be paired with still another neutral stimulus to create a tertiary reinforcer but such a reinforcer will tend to be weaker than one paired with a primary reinforcer. It is therefore always better to associate new secondary reinforcers with your primary reinforcer, sex. Note that operant conditioning refers to behaviors that are not under your husband's control. Your husband is naturally aroused by sex. Use the secondary reinforcer to mark the exact instant of behavior for which your husband is going to be rewarded. If, for example, you pair sex with words of praise then the words of praise will come to arouse your husband by themselves. When your husband learns that words of praise are always followed by sex, the words of praise are said to be conditioned.

Operant conditioning is the process in which the frequency of occurrence of a behavior is modified by the consequences of the behavior. It is the process by which you modify a behavior under your husband's control by manipulating and controlling the consequences to him of the behavior. If positively reinforced, the likelihood of the behavior being repeated increases. If punished, the likelihood of the behavior being repeated decreases.

Once your husband has learned a behavior well, you will want to start rewarding intermittently. Not knowing when the reward will come, what the reward will be or how big the reward will be strengthens the behavior. Think of it like rolling a single six-sided die. The number you would get would be variable. Example: You might want to reward a behavior after 2 times, 6 times, 4 times, 1 time, etc. You might want to offer sex one time, words of praise the next time, a wet kiss the next time, a flash of your nipple another time. Note: it is very discouraging to your husband if you simply make it harder and harder to get a reward. Random variability, not rising expectations, is critical.

Your husband's penis is the most sensitive area of his body. It not entirely without exaggeration that we say that a man thinks with his penis. Think of your husband's penis as a magic button you can press at virtually any time and deliver pure pleasure to him. The one obvious exception is that your husband's sex drive will fall off entirely immediately after he has achieved an orgasm. Depending on his age and physical condition, it may take minutes, hours, or days for him to recover his sex drive.

While husbands enjoy intercourse immensely, it is not the most practical way to deliver stimulation and reinforcement. Intercourse, whatever the position, is generally too distracting for you. And if your husband is on top, he, not you, will tend to control it. You should reserve intercourse as a final reward and the end of the training session and for constructing secondary reinforcers.

At the same time, you should be developing secondary reinforcers. As and when you stimulate his penis, deliver additional stimulations. These additional stimulations may be sight, smell, touch, and sound. Some such stimulants will necessarily be more precise than others but all will acquire a positive association with the stimulation of his penis. The sight of your breasts is an example of a visual stimulation. You can add a smell stimulant by wearing a special perfume during your training sessions. He will come to associate the smell of the perfume with sex. Touch is a more precise stimulation. As you stimulate his penis, you can touch him in other, non-sexual ways. For example, you might give him a quick double-pat on his thigh. Similarly, you can add sound stimulation by delivering specific words or phrases along with the stimulation of his penis. For example, "very good" or "what a wonderful husband you are." You can take it further by using a unique, i.e. sexy, tone of voice.

In addition to such training sessions in bed, you should begin to reward his behavior out of bed. For example, if he does the dishes, you should reward him. Your primary reinforcement is sex. So rewarding him for doing the dishes with your primary reinforcer would involve inviting him, then and there, to go to the bedroom with you to make love. Obviously, this is not a very practical course of action.

Instead, this is where you introduce your secondary reinforcers. If, for example, he washes the dishes, you give him a double-tap on his thigh or whisper in his ear, "what a wonderful husband you are" in your special, sexy voice or flash your bare breast. If he has made a big effort to prepare dinner for you, you can go and put on special perfume for dinner.

In the beginning, you should consistently reinforce your husband for the desired behavior. Once you have trained your husband to perform a desired behavior on a regular basis, though, you should switch to a random reinforcement. While true randomness is ideal, it should be adequate to simply vary the reinforcement according to your whim. It is crucial, though, not to otherwise raise the bar. You can teach him to do new things for you but you should not reduce the reinforcement over time. You must maintain at least a random reinforcement of each desired behavior or the behavior will become extinguished.

Interestingly, while doing chores is a behavior that you are encouraging through positive reinforcement, it may also happen that certain aspects of doing the chores will become secondary reinforcers themselves. For example, as you train your husband to wash the dishes, and reinforce that behavior, your husband may come to indirectly associate the experience of washing the dishes with sex. The more consistent and powerful the reinforcement, the more likely and strongly will be that association. Your husband may actually become aroused by washing the dishes. Thus, over time, washing the dishes may become its own reward.
Once such an association is made between a chore and sex, you can use the chore as a reinforcer. For example, if your husband fails to do the dishes and he discovers you doing them, this will be a punishment. By doing the dishes you are depriving him of something which gives him sexual pleasure.

I often find I have become sexually excited at the darnest times. I may be ironing her clothes, cleaning the bathrooms, preparing dinner, washing dishes -- you name it. And I realize I have an erection. I get excited every time I think about her. I get excited sometimes when I am doing the most mundane of chores for her. She may not even be at home and yet I have become excited just knowing I am serving her in some fashion.

Similarly, you can create an association between general submissive behavior and sex so that he becomes aroused by his own expressions of submission to you.

Unless your husband is a complete moron, he will figure out what you are up to sooner or later. But the training, of course, is very pleasant for your husband. If you are careful to match the pace of training to his receptivity, it is most likely that your husband will cooperate in his training. Simply back off when he objects. Press ahead when he is enthusiastic.

What is most intriguing about these training techniques is that they work even if your husband is entirely aware of what you are doing. The behavior modification techniques will affect him at a deep, subconscious level. You will fundamentally change the way he thinks about doing the chores.

Indeed, some husbands have likened it to creating an addiction. As the training progresses, the husband becomes addicted to the reward system such that, even though he understands, intellectually, why he craves to do the chores, and even though he is entirely aware that you have used sex to train him, still, he will feel a deep, irrefutable craving to do the chores for you. Doing the chores becomes an enjoyable experience for him.

You are, in effect, rewiring his brain to enjoy doing the chores for you. Your husband might initially be willing to make the personal sacrifice to do the chores for you. But as the training progresses, doing the chores will become less a personal sacrifice and more a self indulgence. A wise husband who has committed to serving you will therefore eagerly cooperate in the training.
 

13 comments:

  1. Very enlightening and makes me wonder if the husband becomes so submissive that he would allow another lover for her pleasure. I think so!!

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  2. Wives nowadays are cheaters

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    1. If the wife has established her authority effectively, then her husband will recognise and understand her needs and support her decisions and choices faithfully and with constructive participation as and when she requires, now you can't call that cheating in all fairness.

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    2. Actually it depends on the couple & the relationship dynamics. Neither my Wife nor I believe in sex with others outside of our marriage, so that's not even on the table. Not all female led marriages involve cuckoldry, nor should they.

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  3. A very typical male-written and thought-out idea of how a woman would train her mate. A fun make-believe and bedroom-game set of instructions, written by a man for the enjoyment of other men. but it is complete tripe in terms of how 99.9% of women think and behave. Even the ones, like me, who want to be in charge.

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    1. Excellent comment, male fantasies are mostly written by males.Its also true Females have been brain wash to think submissively,now we are in the 21st century and the Female is beginning to understand her natural superiority, you can see it in the work force, business, politics,more males assuming the house husband role, the whole society has almost completed a complete reversal!!! This is why the FLR, is becoming the new society and the natural submissive male is begining to
      understand his inferior status where as the femaLE
      who truely is the superior sex and now will become the dominate force in society and look at the male as her servant and keep him in chasity!!!

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    2. Oh bullshit! Though my Wife & I live & practice a female led marriage, (& have for nine years now), there is no "superior" gender. I am so fucking tired of losers posting that same useless tripe about female dominant/male submissive relationships that I could puke. Some men are submissive, some are dominant, & some have no interest in either in a relationship & it's the same with women. Try getting involved in a local BDSM group & you might actually learn something.

      Repeating the same old tired canards & cliches about "Femdom superiority" just makes those of us in real life female led D/s relationship & marriages look like whack-a-loons.

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  4. Started reading the first paragraph and stopped! So you withhold the pussy! Relationship over I just start fucking other hoes. Then I start doing my chores and give you a VD. Fuck that, This is why Married Men Cheat because of this shit. FUCK YOU AND WOMEN LIKE YOU!!!! I stop doing shit for you until you start doing shit for me. I am pissed this is bullshit. Do not fuck with me either. I am bad muther Fucker and you are my Biatch.

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  5. Someone needs a good spanking and some corner time!

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  6. Nah. Men don't put up with this shit. That is why there is a lot of domestic violence, shootings.

    Plus, you can never with agains't Islam.

    ;)

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  7. Actually, to the ignoramous above, Islam means to submit, to the will of God and all men and women who practice it are very expert at submission. What he talks about is certainly not Islam.

    I believe that while men and women are equal, some men prefer to be a willing servant in home. It turns us on. It gives us pleasure and we do not need manipulation to give ourselves to our wives.

    My wife understands that I submit, not because I am weak, but because I am seeking fulfilment. She is proud of my devotion to us and so am I. I am nobody's "biatch", am a body builder and martial artist. Macho has no bearing on this.

    Yes, most of what is written online is fetish sales tactics but true submissive spouses have evolved past this and realize that , much like Islam, submitting to another's will is not enslavement, but liberation.

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  8. I just got done reading your article, and really enjoyed it, thank you. You can see some fun books at fun2readbooks.com where you can also hear the girls read the stories for the same price as a paperback book, but they are reading exotic sexy stories that will get you going!

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  9. this all works so much better if there is a penaly phase for misbehavior. A maintenance spanking should be delivered weekly and it should be his responsibility to ask for it. Punishment spankings should be given at her will and he should be chastised for his shortcomings. He should ask for permission to jack off and ask her to watch as part of his reward program.

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