There are two types of behavioral conditioning: respondent conditioning and operant conditioning. In respondent conditioning, a neutral stimulus, such as words of praise, is paired with a primary reinforcer, such as sex. Through a repetition of the pairing, the neutral stimulus takes on the ability to elicit the response, it becomes a secondary reinforcer. Note that a secondary reinforcer may be paired with still another neutral stimulus to create a tertiary reinforcer but such a reinforcer will tend to be weaker than one paired with a primary reinforcer. It is therefore always better to associate new secondary reinforcers with your primary reinforcer, sex. Note that operant conditioning refers to behaviors that are not under your husband's control. Your husband is naturally aroused by sex. Use the secondary reinforcer to mark the exact instant of behavior for which your husband is going to be rewarded. If, for example, you pair sex with words of praise then the words of praise will come to arouse your husband by themselves. When your husband learns that words of praise are always followed by sex, the words of praise are said to be conditioned.
Operant conditioning is the process in which the frequency of occurrence of a behavior is modified by the consequences of the behavior. It is the process by which you modify a behavior under your husband's control by manipulating and controlling the consequences to him of the behavior. If positively reinforced, the likelihood of the behavior being repeated increases. If punished, the likelihood of the behavior being repeated decreases.
Once your husband has learned a behavior well, you will want to start rewarding intermittently. Not knowing when the reward will come, what the reward will be or how big the reward will be strengthens the behavior. Think of it like rolling a single six-sided die. The number you would get would be variable. Example: You might want to reward a behavior after 2 times, 6 times, 4 times, 1 time, etc. You might want to offer sex one time, words of praise the next time, a wet kiss the next time, a flash of your nipple another time. Note: it is very discouraging to your husband if you simply make it harder and harder to get a reward. Random variability, not rising expectations, is critical.
Your husband's penis is the most sensitive area of his body. It not entirely without exaggeration that we say that a man thinks with his penis. Think of your husband's penis as a magic button you can press at virtually any time and deliver pure pleasure to him. The one obvious exception is that your husband's sex drive will fall off entirely immediately after he has achieved an orgasm. Depending on his age and physical condition, it may take minutes, hours, or days for him to recover his sex drive.
While husbands enjoy intercourse immensely, it is not the most practical way to deliver stimulation and reinforcement. Intercourse, whatever the position, is generally too distracting for you. And if your husband is on top, he, not you, will tend to control it. You should reserve intercourse as a final reward and the end of the training session and for constructing secondary reinforcers.
At the same time, you should be developing secondary reinforcers. As and when you stimulate his penis, deliver additional stimulations. These additional stimulations may be sight, smell, touch, and sound. Some such stimulants will necessarily be more precise than others but all will acquire a positive association with the stimulation of his penis. The sight of your breasts is an example of a visual stimulation. You can add a smell stimulant by wearing a special perfume during your training sessions. He will come to associate the smell of the perfume with sex. Touch is a more precise stimulation. As you stimulate his penis, you can touch him in other, non-sexual ways. For example, you might give him a quick double-pat on his thigh. Similarly, you can add sound stimulation by delivering specific words or phrases along with the stimulation of his penis. For example, "very good" or "what a wonderful husband you are." You can take it further by using a unique, i.e. sexy, tone of voice.
In addition to such training sessions in bed, you should begin to reward his behavior out of bed. For example, if he does the dishes, you should reward him. Your primary reinforcement is sex. So rewarding him for doing the dishes with your primary reinforcer would involve inviting him, then and there, to go to the bedroom with you to make love. Obviously, this is not a very practical course of action.
Instead, this is where you introduce your secondary reinforcers. If, for example, he washes the dishes, you give him a double-tap on his thigh or whisper in his ear, "what a wonderful husband you are" in your special, sexy voice or flash your bare breast. If he has made a big effort to prepare dinner for you, you can go and put on special perfume for dinner.
In the beginning, you should consistently reinforce your husband for the desired behavior. Once you have trained your husband to perform a desired behavior on a regular basis, though, you should switch to a random reinforcement. While true randomness is ideal, it should be adequate to simply vary the reinforcement according to your whim. It is crucial, though, not to otherwise raise the bar. You can teach him to do new things for you but you should not reduce the reinforcement over time. You must maintain at least a random reinforcement of each desired behavior or the behavior will become extinguished.
Interestingly, while doing chores is a behavior that you are encouraging through positive reinforcement, it may also happen that certain aspects of doing the chores will become secondary reinforcers themselves. For example, as you train your husband to wash the dishes, and reinforce that behavior, your husband may come to indirectly associate the experience of washing the dishes with sex. The more consistent and powerful the reinforcement, the more likely and strongly will be that association. Your husband may actually become aroused by washing the dishes. Thus, over time, washing the dishes may become its own reward.
Once such an association is made between a chore and sex, you can use the chore as a reinforcer. For example, if your husband fails to do the dishes and he discovers you doing them, this will be a punishment. By doing the dishes you are depriving him of something which gives him sexual pleasure.
I often find I have become sexually excited at the darnest times. I may be ironing her clothes, cleaning the bathrooms, preparing dinner, washing dishes -- you name it. And I realize I have an erection. I get excited every time I think about her. I get excited sometimes when I am doing the most mundane of chores for her. She may not even be at home and yet I have become excited just knowing I am serving her in some fashion.
Similarly, you can create an association between general submissive behavior and sex so that he becomes aroused by his own expressions of submission to you.
Unless your husband is a complete moron, he will figure out what you are up to sooner or later. But the training, of course, is very pleasant for your husband. If you are careful to match the pace of training to his receptivity, it is most likely that your husband will cooperate in his training. Simply back off when he objects. Press ahead when he is enthusiastic.
What is most intriguing about these training techniques is that they work even if your husband is entirely aware of what you are doing. The behavior modification techniques will affect him at a deep, subconscious level. You will fundamentally change the way he thinks about doing the chores.
Indeed, some husbands have likened it to creating an addiction. As the training progresses, the husband becomes addicted to the reward system such that, even though he understands, intellectually, why he craves to do the chores, and even though he is entirely aware that you have used sex to train him, still, he will feel a deep, irrefutable craving to do the chores for you. Doing the chores becomes an enjoyable experience for him.
You are, in effect, rewiring his brain to enjoy doing the chores for you. Your husband might initially be willing to make the personal sacrifice to do the chores for you. But as the training progresses, doing the chores will become less a personal sacrifice and more a self indulgence. A wise husband who has committed to serving you will therefore eagerly cooperate in the training.