Sunday, 15 May 2011

So Your Husband is Submissive… What Next?


Most (but certainly not all) men that desire to submit to their wives follow a similar pattern. They almost always first make up their minds that they are going to begin a campaign of stealth submission to their wives. Said another way, they are going to try to satisfy their desire to submit by behaving as if she were already in charge. They begin doing more and more of the household chores, offering massages, foot rubs, running baths for their wives, etc. Women are very often confused by this approach. They ask their husbands what is behind the change in behavior, but their husbands have not yet mustered the courage to articulate their honest feelings. Women often think that the change in behavior is driven by guilt for something that their husbands have done wrong. Of course this is mistaken, but for the wife's part, she is left puzzled and confused by the new behavior.
The problem is that men that undertake stealth submission quickly find out that it is not working for them. It is not enough for most submissive men to simply undertake to serve and pamper their wives. There must be some explicit acknowledgement on the part of the woman or else the man is left unfulfilled. At some point the husband wants his wife to come out and say that she in charge. The men want not just to do things for their wives; they want their wives to tell them what to do. They want their wives to exercise more control over them.
While most men start out pursuing stealth submission, eventually, the brave among them (probably a minority) end up stumbling into a conversation on the topic. This conversation is usually vague and fails to communicate the depth of his feelings. After all, men generally do a poor job of communicating their feelings. The net result is that he never ends up articulating his desires in a way that is satisfactory to him or his wife. The wife understands that her husband likes doing nice things for her, that he wants to give her more free time, that he is putting her pleasure ahead of his own in the bedroom, etc., but she never really understands the motivation. This lack of communication, this lack of an open and honest conversation on this topic, is a great missed opportunity for both the husband and the wife. This is not just because the husband never has the opportunity to explore a much desired dynamic in the relationship, but also because the wife never fully appreciates what is in it for her.

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