Submissive Husband Training

So your husband says he wants to be submissive to you. (or you want him to be submissive to you) Well here is a list of things you may want to do with him, one at a time, as a proof of his submissive. This should all be done in loving, mutual fun way with the realization that arrest or public embarrassment can affect careers and relationships. So have fun, be careful and giggle and kiss a lot.

1)He should be shaved. Yes, that's right, his pubic hair should be shaved off and he should keep himself smooth and stubble free from now on. This is none negotiable and should be understood from the beginning.

2)Right after he shaves for the first time, have him sit on the edge of the bed, lie back and pull up his knees. You're going to stick your finger into his ass. Yes, you're going to finger fuck him. You will need a rubber glove and some lubricant, Vaseline, butter, olive oil, whatever. He is going to be extremely embarrassed to present himself to you in this fashion, his anus is a very private spot, not seen or touched by anyone. That is why you're doing this. Once he is in position and holding his cheeks apart, lubricate your middle finger and his asshole and slowly press your finger to his opening. Slowly start to enter him. Look into his eyes as you penetrate him. Talk to him and have him talk to you as you both experience his submissiveness to you and this act of penetration.. Think about what he is allowing you to do, he's naked, shaved and your finger fucking his ass. Pull on his cock and balls as you slide in. Go in as far as you can, slowly. Look into his eyes when you are in all the way and tell him you are in all the way. Ask him how he likes it.. This may be the first time you are inside his body, enjoy the power exchange.

3)He needs a good cock teasing at least once a day. This doesn't mean he's going to have an orgasm, in fact he is not. But he needs to be hard and brought to the edge of an orgasm at least one time a day, either by you, or for you. "For you", means brining himself close to orgasm and stopping. Yes, this means masturbating for you, on demand. Two things here. One, he must learn to tell you he is about ready to orgasm and ask you to stop and he must learn to masturbate for you, and stop. Orgasm control is a powerful psychological aspect for a submissive man, and you too will learn to enjoy your teasing and control. It is another important power exchange with you controlling the single physical aspect of maleness that is maleness alone, a hard cock and orgasm at will. This also means that unsupervised masturbation must end, and he will only orgasm with your permission. Orgasm denial is part of this teasing

4)Nudity, him naked, you dressed. This should be done at awkward times, odd times, whenever you like, when he least expects it. Obviously if you're going to tease his cock, make him strip. Make him strip even if you are not going to tease him. If he doesn't usually sleep naked, he should now. In fact, anytime he is in your bedroom he should be naked. At some point, make sure you bring him to every room in the house naked. Lead him to each room naked, by his cock, the basement, laundry room and garage, all will now hold memories of your control

5)Nudity outside is more problematic, but should be attempted. Start with outside of your home late at night. Be careful to pick a night when you know your neighbors are away. Again, at night put him in the passenger seat of your car and tell him to strip. Put the seat all the way back. Pick some back roads and drive slowly and carefully, and DON'T drink. If you like, a highway may give a glimpse of his nudity to a trucker. He wouldn't like that, you may. Reach over with one hand and keep him hard reminding him not to cum. Don't stay out long, fifteen minutes should be enough. Pick a secluded place where you can stop to allow him to dress so he doesn't interfere with your driving.

A nude beach could also be fun. He will be naked of course and you should be in your swim suit to emphasize his submissiveness. Remember he is shaved, so anyone who sees the two of you walking together knows who's in charge. How embarrassing would a hard on make this? The object here is to be seen by as many as possible, so walk, don't sit in the sun. Well you can sit on the beach and enjoy the sun, but not until everyone has seen him naked.

6)Embarrassment is also part of the fun obviously. Be careful not to embarrass him or yourself in font of friends or co-workers. This must be done carefully and for the fun aspect of your dominance. Ordering wine and his dinner at a restaurant is a simple start, and one he will enjoy. While with friends for drinks or dinner, whisper in his ear, "what do you think they would think knowing you're shaved, knowing I own your orgasms". After his yearly physical ask him if the doctor said anything about his shaving.. If he works out in a gym, ask him if other men are shaved and what they look like, are they big, circumcised, big balls, small balls, compare them to him. If you have one girlfriend you can trust, and you probably don't, arrange an "accidental" flash. Remember, it only appears as an accident to your girlfriend, your guy might not like it but he'll cooperate. He is in gym shorts and a tee shirt and that is it. You can grab him and tickle him in front of your friend, accidentally pulling down his shorts exposing him, then after all the hooting and hollering, pull then all the way down and step on them. He will have to step out and run. Remember, he knows this is coming so he may be hard, and of course he is shaved. You can have a quick laugh with your friend and tell her you better see if he is OK. Go to the bedroom, strip him, grab his cock and lead him back to your girlfriend, saying, "well you have already seen him naked, you may as well get a better look." Doing the same thing in front of a couple would be more than twice as embarrassing.

7) Proving his submissiveness can be tested with the above situation, but should also include most if not all of the list to follow.

You should orgasm much more than he does. That goes without question, his submissiveness definitely translates into you cumming more. You need to teach him how to orally please you better, and as often as you like. I know this may seem odd, but a tongue up your ass will feel great, and he wants to do it for you, so tell him that is now a part of your oral pleasure. Don't worry, you don't' have to do it for him.

Back rubs, foot rubs, leg rubs, body massages, anything you think you might like you should try, and then do as much as you like. He loves every minutes of doing anything for you, especially if he is physically close to you.

Help with house work, yard work and generally being a better partner is assumed. He can also learn to cook with your teaching. He is not your slave, but he can be a more than a 50% partner in the house holds chores you don't like doing. Delegate, delegate, delegate. He will not do things if you don't tell him to do them, and show him how you want them done. He can't read your mind, so tell him when he is doing something wrong, but more importantly tell him when he is doing something right, and ask him to do it again.

It's not all about sex but a lot of his submission is. You need to talk to him and ask him what turns him on or off. Ask him what he expects and wants. Tell him what you expect and want. Keep an open mind and don't freak out if he has some silly fetishes. He is sharing everything with you and no one else, so even if it seems pretty odd or nasty, try it, make him do it, whatever.

There is only one thing that all submissive men must learn to do. You should have this conversation with him in a none sexual environment, so the reality of the requirement is finite, unequivocal and a given. Every time his orgasms, he must consume his ejaculate. That's right, you heard me correctly. If he ejaculates in you he must lick you clean. If he ejaculates on you, he must lick you clean. If you masturbate him or he masturbates for you, you must feed him his semen. At some point you should make him shoot into a cup or a glass and he must drink it down. This requirement for all submissive men does two things. It puts a real price on his orgasms, and it shows your acceptance of your dominance, and his acceptance of your dominance, no matter who brought the topic up. This is none negotiable and should be explained to him when he first approaches you with his desire to be submissive to you or your desire to lead the relationship. If he does not accept this simple requirement, he is not submissive. It is the only test and proof that he is sincere in his desire to be submissive, and your only requirement showing you are to assume the leadership role in the relationship.

There is much, much more of course, but you will discover things along the way. These are just a few suggestions but a good starting point for exploring this new aspect of your relationship. The most important thing is to have fun. If he approached you, he has a need. If you approached him, you have a desire to change the course of your relationship. Either way, if it is done in a loving fashion, it will be fun and bring you closer. So enjoy.
 

Train Your Husband to Be Slave

Training your husband to be slave; a common desire among dominant women like yourself. If your husband has a submissive side, it can be achieved in under a week. There are two steps: bringing out his submissive side and then teaching him to serve you. Begin by changing your sex life. The next time you have sex, make him concentrate on pleasuring you. If he fails to make you happy, punish him (light smacks or name-calling). Do no do anything for his pleasure. Tie him up and pleasure yourself. When he speaks to you punish him and tell him to call you Mistress. If your husband is immensely aroused then you will know he is submissive at heart and can easily be trained to become your slave.
When you know he is submissive you can train him to serve you. The easiest way to get control of him, while you are new at this, is by not letting him orgasm. He will become so aroused that he will do anything to please you. Take what you have done in the bedroom into your normal lives. Tell him to call you Mistress. Speak sternly to him and tell him what he must do to make you happy. When he fails then punish him. Continue to prevent him from having an orgasm. Make him pleasure you sexually throughout the day, each and every day. At the end of the week, on say a Sunday, sit down with him, have him kneel at your feet, and explain to your submissive husband that you are tired of games and want to permanently change your relationship. Tell him you will become his Mistress. If he says yes, which they almost always do, you will have a new slave husband.

 

The Dominant Wife and submissive husband

A primary reinforcer is any reward your husband will work to get, and which will increase or maintain a behavior. Of all the rewards that you could offer your husband, sex is far and away the most powerful. Sex, therefore, serves as the core, primary reinforcer. Simply put, under the right circumstances, your husband will do virtually anything to have sex with you. A secondary reinforcer, or a conditioned reinforcer, is any previously neutral stimulus that acquires reinforcing properties through an association with a primary reinforcer over a period of time. Lingerie a secondary reinforcer, albeit one that he has almost certainly already associated with sex. As a practical matter, you cannot use sex to reward your husband for every good deed. Secondary reinforcers are therefore critical to an effective training program.

There are two types of behavioral conditioning: respondent conditioning and operant conditioning. In respondent conditioning, a neutral stimulus, such as words of praise, is paired with a primary reinforcer, such as sex. Through a repetition of the pairing, the neutral stimulus takes on the ability to elicit the response, it becomes a secondary reinforcer. Note that a secondary reinforcer may be paired with still another neutral stimulus to create a tertiary reinforcer but such a reinforcer will tend to be weaker than one paired with a primary reinforcer. It is therefore always better to associate new secondary reinforcers with your primary reinforcer, sex. Note that operant conditioning refers to behaviors that are not under your husband's control. Your husband is naturally aroused by sex. Use the secondary reinforcer to mark the exact instant of behavior for which your husband is going to be rewarded. If, for example, you pair sex with words of praise then the words of praise will come to arouse your husband by themselves. When your husband learns that words of praise are always followed by sex, the words of praise are said to be conditioned.

Operant conditioning is the process in which the frequency of occurrence of a behavior is modified by the consequences of the behavior. It is the process by which you modify a behavior under your husband's control by manipulating and controlling the consequences to him of the behavior. If positively reinforced, the likelihood of the behavior being repeated increases. If punished, the likelihood of the behavior being repeated decreases.

Once your husband has learned a behavior well, you will want to start rewarding intermittently. Not knowing when the reward will come, what the reward will be or how big the reward will be strengthens the behavior. Think of it like rolling a single six-sided die. The number you would get would be variable. Example: You might want to reward a behavior after 2 times, 6 times, 4 times, 1 time, etc. You might want to offer sex one time, words of praise the next time, a wet kiss the next time, a flash of your nipple another time. Note: it is very discouraging to your husband if you simply make it harder and harder to get a reward. Random variability, not rising expectations, is critical.

Your husband's penis is the most sensitive area of his body. It not entirely without exaggeration that we say that a man thinks with his penis. Think of your husband's penis as a magic button you can press at virtually any time and deliver pure pleasure to him. The one obvious exception is that your husband's sex drive will fall off entirely immediately after he has achieved an orgasm. Depending on his age and physical condition, it may take minutes, hours, or days for him to recover his sex drive.

While husbands enjoy intercourse immensely, it is not the most practical way to deliver stimulation and reinforcement. Intercourse, whatever the position, is generally too distracting for you. And if your husband is on top, he, not you, will tend to control it. You should reserve intercourse as a final reward and the end of the training session and for constructing secondary reinforcers.

At the same time, you should be developing secondary reinforcers. As and when you stimulate his penis, deliver additional stimulations. These additional stimulations may be sight, smell, touch, and sound. Some such stimulants will necessarily be more precise than others but all will acquire a positive association with the stimulation of his penis. The sight of your breasts is an example of a visual stimulation. You can add a smell stimulant by wearing a special perfume during your training sessions. He will come to associate the smell of the perfume with sex. Touch is a more precise stimulation. As you stimulate his penis, you can touch him in other, non-sexual ways. For example, you might give him a quick double-pat on his thigh. Similarly, you can add sound stimulation by delivering specific words or phrases along with the stimulation of his penis. For example, "very good" or "what a wonderful husband you are." You can take it further by using a unique, i.e. sexy, tone of voice.

In addition to such training sessions in bed, you should begin to reward his behavior out of bed. For example, if he does the dishes, you should reward him. Your primary reinforcement is sex. So rewarding him for doing the dishes with your primary reinforcer would involve inviting him, then and there, to go to the bedroom with you to make love. Obviously, this is not a very practical course of action.

Instead, this is where you introduce your secondary reinforcers. If, for example, he washes the dishes, you give him a double-tap on his thigh or whisper in his ear, "what a wonderful husband you are" in your special, sexy voice or flash your bare breast. If he has made a big effort to prepare dinner for you, you can go and put on special perfume for dinner.

In the beginning, you should consistently reinforce your husband for the desired behavior. Once you have trained your husband to perform a desired behavior on a regular basis, though, you should switch to a random reinforcement. While true randomness is ideal, it should be adequate to simply vary the reinforcement according to your whim. It is crucial, though, not to otherwise raise the bar. You can teach him to do new things for you but you should not reduce the reinforcement over time. You must maintain at least a random reinforcement of each desired behavior or the behavior will become extinguished.

Interestingly, while doing chores is a behavior that you are encouraging through positive reinforcement, it may also happen that certain aspects of doing the chores will become secondary reinforcers themselves. For example, as you train your husband to wash the dishes, and reinforce that behavior, your husband may come to indirectly associate the experience of washing the dishes with sex. The more consistent and powerful the reinforcement, the more likely and strongly will be that association. Your husband may actually become aroused by washing the dishes. Thus, over time, washing the dishes may become its own reward.
Once such an association is made between a chore and sex, you can use the chore as a reinforcer. For example, if your husband fails to do the dishes and he discovers you doing them, this will be a punishment. By doing the dishes you are depriving him of something which gives him sexual pleasure.

I often find I have become sexually excited at the darnest times. I may be ironing her clothes, cleaning the bathrooms, preparing dinner, washing dishes -- you name it. And I realize I have an erection. I get excited every time I think about her. I get excited sometimes when I am doing the most mundane of chores for her. She may not even be at home and yet I have become excited just knowing I am serving her in some fashion.

Similarly, you can create an association between general submissive behavior and sex so that he becomes aroused by his own expressions of submission to you.

Unless your husband is a complete moron, he will figure out what you are up to sooner or later. But the training, of course, is very pleasant for your husband. If you are careful to match the pace of training to his receptivity, it is most likely that your husband will cooperate in his training. Simply back off when he objects. Press ahead when he is enthusiastic.

What is most intriguing about these training techniques is that they work even if your husband is entirely aware of what you are doing. The behavior modification techniques will affect him at a deep, subconscious level. You will fundamentally change the way he thinks about doing the chores.

Indeed, some husbands have likened it to creating an addiction. As the training progresses, the husband becomes addicted to the reward system such that, even though he understands, intellectually, why he craves to do the chores, and even though he is entirely aware that you have used sex to train him, still, he will feel a deep, irrefutable craving to do the chores for you. Doing the chores becomes an enjoyable experience for him.

You are, in effect, rewiring his brain to enjoy doing the chores for you. Your husband might initially be willing to make the personal sacrifice to do the chores for you. But as the training progresses, doing the chores will become less a personal sacrifice and more a self indulgence. A wise husband who has committed to serving you will therefore eagerly cooperate in the training.
 

Domestic Discipline

o most submissive males, Domestic Discipline is the holy grail of loving Femdom relationship. Living in a household where rules are clearly defined by a superior female authority (the dominant wife) is the core of the Femdom lifestyle and a source of inspiration for most Femdom couples.
In a loving Femdom relationship, domestic discipline stands for hierarchic order within a family using disciplinary acts and punitive measures to enforce the dominant wife’s authority over the submissive male husband. This lifestyle is very real, where couples are making a conscious decision to incorporate discipline and authority into their day to day life.
The boundaries are clearly laid and actions have consequences. Those boundaries are typically enforced by the dominant wife on a 24/7 basis. In some cases, a stern look is all it takes to put the submissive male husband back in line, but occasionally losing a privilege or exercising physical punishment is far more effective in making a point.
Domestic discipline is a recipe for true happiness to both parties. It enables a loving and nurturing relationship usually far greater than in most modern households, since there is no power struggle between the genders. The submissive husband simply accepts the dominant wife’s role as mentor, protector and disciplinarian. The wife has the last word, period. The husband is willing to accept absolute control over his life, financially, sexually and socially, because he understands that this disciplinary arrangement is driven by the love of his dominant wife and that she will only correct his ways for his own benefit.

He is still the same man that you have always loved

By far, the most common concern that we hear from women is that they do not want to trade in the husband that they love for a mindless domestic servant. This is a fair concern, but it is the manifestation of an essential misunderstanding of how this dynamic will impact their relationship.
While some men, and doubtless some women, fantasize about a relationship where the man is engaged in a constant, 24/7 effort of nipping at his wife's heels to please her, this is simply not a relationship that works for most people in the long-run. It is better to understand loving female authority as a dimension of the relationship that is always present, but not always out in the open. Day in and day out, the vast majority of the woman's interactions with her husband will be exactly as they are today. Husbands and wives share friendship, trust, affection and a spiritual love that is completely independent of who has the final authority in the household. None of this - absolutely none of this - changes when the wife acknowledges her husband's submission.
They will still laugh together, they will still play together, and they will still work together for common goals. If there are disagreements in the household, the woman's decision will certainly be final, but relationships do not revolve around conflict resolution. The husband will most likely take on a much greater percentage of the household chores, but neither do relationships revolve around domestic work. The woman can be as demanding as she chooses as often as she chooses. Just because the submissive husband has an innate desire to feel controlled by his wife, she does not have to reinforce that control every time she speaks to him. She can do so daily, weekly, or however often she feels that the husband's role in the relationship needs reinforcing to keep him fulfilled.
Of particular concern is that fact that many women do not want to feel dominant in the bedroom. When the make love they like to feel, either once in a while or virtually every time, that they are being taken by their strong, masculine mate. A woman that feels this way should feel open to communicating this with her husband so that her sexual needs are being satisfied in a way that suits her particular tastes and preferences. This woman, however, should understand that her husband craves this same sense of submission in the bedroom that she does. She should nurture his submission by dedicating periodic sexual activity that reinforces her authority and his submission. How often this takes place is something that each couple should work out together.

Sample Dialogues for Wives with Submissive Husbands

(Some of these seem pretty corny, but these little snippets have received tons of positive feedback! Feel free to send your own and we'll add them to the collection.)
Go get the lotion. I need you to rub my feet.
Run my bath for me. And while I'm in there get started on the laundry.
Get up, Sweetheart, and make me some coffee and an English muffin with butter.
You did a nice job cleaning the bathrooms; I am very pleased with you.
I want a full body massage for exactly one hour; keep an eye on the clock. When you are done I want you to go down on me until I tell you to stop. Afterwards, we'll both go to sleep. You won't be having an orgasm tonight.
I'm going out with the girls tonight. While I'm gone you can work on the laundry.
I want you writing down everything that you eat. I want to monitor your eating habits so that I can make some changes. Also, you'll be starting an exercise program this week.
I think I need to put you on a budget. At the beginning of every week, I'll give you an allowance. If an emergency comes up, please feel free to come to me and we can discuss giving you some extra money.

Example Behaviors for Women that Want to Nurture Their Husband's Submission

In the end, women can react and behave however they want regarding their husband's interest in submitting. While this site recognizes a woman's freedom to react however she pleases, many women nonetheless write us wanting very specific suggestions for behaviors that will nurture and encourage their men. These women crave these suggestions because being outwardly dominant is so completely new - and not always completely comfortable -- for them. At the risk of prescribing behavior that reads like a script, these snippets of dialogue may be useful to these women.

A Sexual Component that Cannot Be Ignored

This is so very important!
Women have never gone wrong by overestimating how important sex is to their husbands. And by sex, I don't just mean the physical act of sex; I mean the psychological components of sex as well. While men love physical sex, they also desire a level of sexual energy in their relationships that is very often missing. While this is useful information for any woman, it is critical for those with submissive husbands. A submissive husband craves sexual energy (which you can feel free to read as sexual "attention") from his wife as much as or more than he craves physical sex. He can go without the physical sex for extended periods of time, but he needs the sexual energy to feel satisfied.
How exactly does the wife go about adding sexual energy to the relationship? For starters, she can be sexually playful throughout the day. She can be affectionate with the intent of arousing him by kissing on his neck, nibbling on his ears, and patting him on the bottom as the couple goes about their daily routine. It is particularly useful if as she does these things she is telling him what she expects from him. For example, instead of asking him to take out the trash, sneak up behind him, kiss on his ear and tell him to take out the trash in a soft, sexy whisper. He will absolutely love this!
Remember that this does not have to result in any more physical sex than the woman desires. However, the woman needs to be recognize that her husband's desire to have physical sex will be higher than ever. She should not make the mistake of ignoring this reality; she should overtly acknowledge it. As was said before but bears repeating, most submissive men are very happy to be denied release (within reason) if their wives make it clear that they are consciously exerting their control over their husbands. Wives can simply tell him that they like having him remain aroused as he's easier to control. They can tell him he hasn't yet earned sex yet. They can tell him whatever they want as long as they do not ignore his heightened arousal. Importantly, women should not let their own physical needs go unanswered. Just because the husband is denied physical release does not mean that the woman needs to be denied. The wife should receive all the sexual stimulation (e.g. oral sex) she likes with no expectation that the act will be reciprocated.
Most women would not want to forego intercourse altogether as it is an important and enjoyable component of their sex life. However, when women do have intercourse with their husbands, they should not necessarily concede to him his orgasm. They can have him pull out whenever they feel like it. Consider the benefits to you of keeping him on edge. It is no great secret that after sex men become very sleepy and disinterested in affection and communication. Men have a physiological response to orgasm that is in conflict with a woman's emotional requirements for cuddling and talking after sex. I promise that any man that is denied an orgasm will have no desire whatsoever to get quickly off to sleep after being intimate with his wife. In fact, he will probably open up and talk as never before. He will dote on his wife, playing with her hair, rubbing her back, and kissing her neck and shoulders. He will behave as if he is just getting to know her. It will be as if the old flames have been rekindled.
When first experiencing this intentional arousal and denial, most men are amazed at what it does to their brain chemistry. The intensity of the feelings that men have for their wives goes through the ceiling. Men literally find themselves anxious to do something, anything, to please their wives. One wife even wrote that her husband wakes up early to do her laundry on nights that he is "deprived".

Letter from a wife #2: A Better Relationship with her husband

My husband is about the most masculine man that I know. He loves football, prefers hamburgers to fancy restaurants, and (in the past at least) has never been the poster child for being a strong communicator.
About two years ago, I noticed that he had been acting funny. He had been doing work around the house where as before he had never lifted a finger. He was cooking dinner and doing laundry for literally the first time in our marriage. I didn't know what was behind his behavior, but I was afraid to question it since I could use all the help I can get. You can imagine how surprised I was when he finally told me one night that he wanted to try and make some changes in our relationship. He wanted to me to become the head of our household.
At first I was very hesitant. It seemed weird to me to be quite honest. I told him I would think about it, but I quickly proceeded to act as if nothing had happened. He also started behaving as if he had never brought the topic up at all. I know now that he felt very ashamed and embarrassed by my initial reaction. I now underestimated how much it took for him to come clean with me about his desires.
It was only after a couple of weeks, after he had reverted to doing absolutely no chores around the house, that I brought the topic up again. It was actually in the context of an argument with him that it came up. I was yelling at him for throwing his clothes on the floor. He begrudgingly got up and started picking everything up. I told him that if he was really serious about me being the head of the household, he would be in for more than he bargained. At this point his eyes lit up. Instead of just walking away, I took the opportunity to give him a chance to talk more about it. He said that he just felt more comfortable if I was in charge. He said he had felt that way for a long time. I told him I was willing to give it a try.
It was a struggle at first. Little by little I got more comfortable in telling him what I wanted. Still, he would occasionally lapse back into his old ways. Finally, I sat down with him and told him that I was too used to being in control to go back. I told him that while I felt as close to him as ever, things were different now. I now expected him to obey me. I don't know what had clicked in me. I guess I was enjoying being in control as much as he enjoyed submitting. Once I openly communicated my expectations, things have never been better. I feel so much closer to him now that we have both accepted our roles in the relationship.
It is completely transparent to our friends. He is respectful to me in front of others, but nobody outside of the two of us would ever guess just how much control I have in the marriage. It really is a great arrangement. Every woman should be so lucky!

Letter from a wife 1: Learning Something New About Her Husband

My husband had been acting very odd for almost two months. He hadn't argued with me over anything. He had done virtually all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. without my even asking. He began giving me massages and steadily progressed to foot rubs. He even offered to give me a pedicure! I knew something was up, but I was completely clueless. My first suspicion was that he had cheated on me and was acting out his guilt. I tried to talk to him about it, but he just kept saying that he liked doing nice things for me. Needless to say, I didn't buy it.
I took to the internet and more or less discovered the existence of submissive husbands. It became apparent to me that he was expressing submissive desires. I tested my theory by writing up a "to do" list for him. I left it on his dresser on a Monday morning. By the end of the week he had finished everything on my list. This was not just some short list of quick tasks. This was a pretty lengthy list. He spent every night that week cleaning the basement, cleaning the garage, changing light bulbs, vacuuming out my car, you name it. This was in addition to all the laundry, cooking and other jobs that he had already made part of his routine.
As he checked tasks off the list, I made certain not to thank him. This was based on some advice I had read in an online forum. I told him that he had done a good job (he had, believe me!), but I never thanked him. When Friday night rolled around, I told (not asked, but told) him to go run me a bubble bath. I had him help me out of my clothes and into the tub. Then I had him go open a bottle of wine and bring me a glass. Then, before sending him off, I had him light some candles and turn on some music. I instructed him to go back out to the den and finish the bottle of wine himself. Maybe asking him to drink the wine was cheating a little bit, but I wanted to loosen him up as best I could. In any event, he obeyed every one of my commands to the letter.
I took my time enjoying my bath. I finally got myself out of the tub and dressed myself in some sexy panties and a short robe. I walked out in the den, turned off the television and took a seat on the couch. There was still some wine left in the bottle, so I had him pour me another glass as I needed a little loosening up myself.
At this point he actually asked me if there was anything he could do for me. His behavior along with the wine was inspiring me to new confidence. I told him that yes; there were some things I still had for him to do. To begin with, he could rub my feet. He first started to do this by sitting at the opposite end of the couch and putting my feet in his lap. I told him that I would prefer it if he would do it while kneeling on the floor. He took to this like it had been his life's dream. He looked so incredibly loving kneeling at my feet. For the first time, I felt empowered. I can't really explain why, but it made me feel so very close to him.
I told him that I was really pleased with the way that he had been acting lately. He had been so helpful to me. He had done a good job with the list that I had given him. In fact, it was such a good job that I was already working on another list. Then I asked him a series of questions, each of which was met by an enthusiastic "yes" from him. Did he like the way our relationship had been going lately? Did he like doing what I asked him to do? Did he like the way that I seemed to be in charge lately? Finally, I looked him straight in the eyes and asked him outright if he felt submissive towards me. This time he answered me with an emphatic, "Yes, I do." 
This, I think, was where my research really paid off for me. I understood that I had to seize upon this moment. I told him that I understand him completely. I was willing to accept my authority over him, but he must accept his submissiveness to me. Most of the time, our relationship will be just like it was, but when I desire to exert my control over him, I expect him to obey me. There are going to be times when that reality is going to frustrate him. There will be times when he disagrees with my decisions; that's ok. I want to hear his opinions. I will respect them and consider them in coming to my final decision. In the end, however, I am in charge. I know it, and he accepts it.
If I could give one piece of advice to other women it would be not to let all of these things go unsaid. Submissive men want their wives to formally acknowledge their authority in the relationship.

How should the well prepared woman react?

I caveat this section by using the phrase "well prepared woman". This is because most women are caught completely off guard by their husband's desire to relinquish control. While women are obviously entitled to act however they choose, there are certainly some behaviors and dialogues that will allow them to more quickly and productively begin a path to a mutually satisfying relationship. Rather than speak here in generalities, it might be more productive to read from two letters that I have received related to this very topic. They recount the actual experiences of women that received their husband's confession with open minds and open arms:

What is in this for the wife?

Make no mistake, there is a great deal of benefit for any woman that accepts her husband's gift of submission and embraces her authority over him in the relationship. First and foremost is the open acknowledgement that he adores his wife and wants to put her on the pedestal on which she belongs. This open acknowledgement of his genuine affection and complete adoration is reward in and of itself.
There is much more, however, than just the open gesture of affection. The wife will come to enjoy the freedom in decision making that the new relationship dynamic affords her. She will be comfortable knowing that her opinions and decisions will be respected in her household. If she wants control of the household finances, she can have that control. If she wants to be the only half of the couple allowed use of the remote control, she need only to say so.
She will also be able to unburden herself of as much of the domestic duties of the household as she deems fit. The husband will not only take on all the household chores, he will come to enjoy doing them as they represent an opportunity to serve his wife.
One area where there is a great deal of upside for the woman is in the bedroom. While this site takes care to avoid erotic subject matter, women with submissive husbands should understand that their pleasure absolutely comes first. For example, they can enjoy as much unreciprocated oral sex as they please. By no means do they have to go without intercourse. However, intercourse only comes on their terms, and only when they are assured that their own physical needs are being met.
Many women find that delaying or denying their husband's pleasure altogether (for reasonable periods… say one to two weeks at a time) can increase their submissive feelings and actually represent a phenomenal turn-on for the man. Be careful with this tactic, however, as it can backfire. It is one thing to consciously deny him as a mechanism of nurturing his submission. It is another thing to simply ignore his sexual gratification. When denying him, always let him know that you are doing it consciously. Tell him in absolute terms that you know what he wants, but you are choosing to keep him from having it. Without words to this effect, the results will be nothing but frustration on his part.
There is much to learn about this relationship dynamic, but what you have read so far is at least a reasonable introduction. If you are feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone. For any woman, the fact that their husband has been suppressing such a strong desire to surrender so completely to his wife is all very difficult to accept. In fact, accepting all of this is the hardest thing about it to most women. Once women accept it - embrace it - it all becomes a wonderful new reality for them.

So Your Husband is Submissive… What Next?

Most (but certainly not all) men that desire to submit to their wives follow a similar pattern. They almost always first make up their minds that they are going to begin a campaign of stealth submission to their wives. Said another way, they are going to try to satisfy their desire to submit by behaving as if she were already in charge. They begin doing more and more of the household chores, offering massages, foot rubs, running baths for their wives, etc. Women are very often confused by this approach. They ask their husbands what is behind the change in behavior, but their husbands have not yet mustered the courage to articulate their honest feelings. Women often think that the change in behavior is driven by guilt for something that their husbands have done wrong. Of course this is mistaken, but for the wife's part, she is left puzzled and confused by the new behavior.
The problem is that men that undertake stealth submission quickly find out that it is not working for them. It is not enough for most submissive men to simply undertake to serve and pamper their wives. There must be some explicit acknowledgement on the part of the woman or else the man is left unfulfilled. At some point the husband wants his wife to come out and say that she in charge. The men want not just to do things for their wives; they want their wives to tell them what to do. They want their wives to exercise more control over them.
While most men start out pursuing stealth submission, eventually, the brave among them (probably a minority) end up stumbling into a conversation on the topic. This conversation is usually vague and fails to communicate the depth of his feelings. After all, men generally do a poor job of communicating their feelings. The net result is that he never ends up articulating his desires in a way that is satisfactory to him or his wife. The wife understands that her husband likes doing nice things for her, that he wants to give her more free time, that he is putting her pleasure ahead of his own in the bedroom, etc., but she never really understands the motivation. This lack of communication, this lack of an open and honest conversation on this topic, is a great missed opportunity for both the husband and the wife. This is not just because the husband never has the opportunity to explore a much desired dynamic in the relationship, but also because the wife never fully appreciates what is in it for her.

Female led Marriage

A female led relationship is also called wife led marriage. It is also known as loving female authority. In a female led relationship, the woman serves as the household’s head. It is the woman who is responsible for all major decisions. Female led relationships do not involve chains and whips. It just involves a different arrangement of powers.
In a female led relationship, the woman is responsible for decisions related to sex, money, and housework. In short, everything comes under the purview of the wife. Such women may ask the husband for the opinion. However, the final say rests with her. The husband avoids confrontation or disobedience with the wife. Female led relationships are characterized by the absence of nagging. In such relationships both the husband and wife accept the authority of the woman.
Critics of female led relationships have suggested that such relationships are in contradiction with nature and the Bible. Such relationships are seen as a combat against male pride. Many men, however, yearn for it. Such men resort to stealth submission, where majority of the housework is done by them. They perform tasks assigned to them by their wives. They obey the commands of the wife without and questions. Such men enjoy the situation where the wife is in charge. It tends to turn them on.
Most of the household work is performed by husbands. The wife commands and the husband obeys. Female led relationships are characterized by the absence of fights, nagging, and games. Some of the things that the woman might say to her husband in a female led relationship include the following:

• Give me the lotion. I have to rub my hands and feet.
• Run the bath for my sake. While I take a bath, get the laundry done.
• Wake up, darling, and make some coffee and English muffins.
• You performed a wonderful task by cleaning the bathroom. I am highly pleased.
• I need to plan a budget for you. I shall allocate an allowance to you at the start of each week. When an emergency crops up, contact me so that I can give you additional money.

In female led relationships, it is the woman who is control of the sex life. Such women may go to the extent of saying the following:

• I want you to massage my body for an hour. Watch the clock. Following this, we will go to sleep. You will not have an orgasm for tonight.

The needs of the woman belong to high priority. The husband’s needs are secondary.